|The Yoni Massage
(for Women) My wife and I have practiced Tantra/Sacred Sex for several years and have received much joy from the
techniques and processes. One of my wife’s favorite and frequently requested sexual activities is the Yoni
Massage. It has greatly expanded our sex life, brought us closer and has given me a greater appreciation
of women. We’ve taught the technique to many of our friends and they too have enjoyed good results from
it. I offer it here and hope it enhances your sex life. Enjoy.BACKGROUND INFO
Yoni (pronounced YO-NEE) is a Sanskrit word for the vagina that is loosely translated as “Sacred Space”
or “Sacred Temple.” Its meaning and use is an alternate perspective from the Western view of the female
genitals (i.e., Pussy, Cunt, Twat, etc., words which may or may not be complimentary depending on the
intent of their usage). In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of love and respect. This is especially
helpful for men to learn.
The purpose of the Yoni Massage is to create a space for the woman (the receiver) to relax, and enter a
state of high arousal and experience much pleasure from her Yoni. Her partner (the giver) experiences the
joy of being of service and witnessing a special moment. The Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of
safer sex (when latex gloves are used) and is an excellent activity to build trust and intimacy. Some
massage and sex therapists use it to assist women to break through sexual blocks or trauma.
The goal of the Yoni massage is not orgasm. Orgasm is often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The
goal is simply to pleasure and massage the Yoni/vagina. From this perspective both receiver and giver
can relax, and not have to worry about achieving something. When orgasm does occur it is usually more
expanded, more intense and more satisfying. Orgasm is allowed to happen or not happen.
It is also helpful for the giver to not expect anything in return. Just allow the receiver to enjoy the massage
and to relax into herself afterwards. Of course, other sexual activity may follow but it should be entirely the
receiver’s choice. This perspective will build greater intimacy and trust, and will greatly expand your sexual
Bathing is always helpful as it relaxes both the receiver and giver. A quiet space is desirable with pleasing
music, candles, pillows, etc., or whatever makes the participants relax and feel safe. Allow yourself
enough time and do not hurry through the process.
Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The best results will occur when the bowels and
bladder are empty and you will avoid the unnecessary experience of interrupting the massage to go to the
Connect with your partner by hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking into each other’s eyes for an extended
time), or whatever brings you to a place of safety and relaxation.
Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so she can look down at her genitals and up
at her partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her hips. Her legs are to be spread apart
with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly
exposed for the massage.
The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers’ legs. The giver may wish to sit on a pillow or cushion.
This position allows full access to the Yoni and other parts of the body.
Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Both giver and receiver should remember
to keep breathing deeply, slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver will gently remind
the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver stops or takes shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not
hyperventilating, is very important here.
Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to get the receiver to relax and for the giver to
prepare for touching the Yoni.
Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil or lubricant on the mound of the Yoni. Pour just enough so that it
drips down the outer lips and covers the outside of the Yoni. (Several excellent sexual lubricants are
available for this. Many lingerie shops, sex toy shops, sex magazines, etc., offer these safe lubricants.)
CAVEAT – Do not mix oil-based products with latex.
Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni. Spend some time here and do not rush.
Relax and enjoy giving the massage. Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index finger,
and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the same thing to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina.
Take your time.
The receiver can massage her own breasts or may just relax and continue breathing deeply. It is helpful
for giver and receiver to look into each other’s eyes as much as possible. The receiver can tell the giver if
the pressure, speed, depth, etc., needs to be increased or decreased. Limit your speaking and focus on
the pleasurable sensations. (It is my experience that too much talking gets one out of their feelings and
diminishes the effects.)
Gently stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb
and index fingers. Do this as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver will undoubtedly
become very aroused but continue to encourage her to just relax and breathe.
Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for
using the right hand as opposed to the left. It has to do with polarity in Tantra). Very gently explore and
massage the inside of the Yoni/ vagina with this finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up, down and
sideways. Vary the depth, speed and pressure. Remember, this is a massage and you’re nurturing and
relaxing the Yoni.
With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni, move the middle finger in a “come here”
gesture or crook back towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just under the pubic
bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or in Tantra, the sacred spot (there are many excellent books
that go into detail about this area). Your partner may feel as if they have to urinate or it may be painful or
pleasurable. Again vary the pressure, speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to side, back
and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You can also insert the finger that’s between your middle
finger and pinkie. Check with your partner first before sticking two fingers into them. Most women should
have no problem and will enjoy the increased stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be very
gentle. You may use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate the clitoris as well.
An option to try if the receiver wants it is to insert the pinkie of the right hand into her anus. Ask her first
and do not insert your pinkie into her Yoni/vagina after it has been in her anus. Use lubrication and be
(In Tantra, it is said that when your pinkie is in her anus, the next finger and middle finger in her
Yoni/vagina, and your thumb on her clitoris, “You are holding one of the mysteries of the universe in your
So, what is your left hand doing all this time? You can use it to massage the breasts, abdomen, or clitoris.
If you massage the clitoris it’s usually best to use your thumb in an up down motion, with the rest of your
hand resting on and massaging the mound. The dual stimulation of right and left hands will provide much
pleasure for the receiver. I do not recommend using your left hand to touch your own genitals because it
may take your focus off the receiver. Remember, this massage is for her pleasure and much of the benefit
comes from not only the physical stimulation but the intent as well.
Continue massaging, trying different speeds, pressures and motions. Keep breathing and looking into
each other’s eyes. She may have powerful emotions come up and may cry. Just keep breathing and be
gentle. Many women have been sexually abused and need to be healed. A giving, loving and patient
partner can be of great value to her.
If she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging if she wants. More orgasms may
occur, each gaining in intensity. In Tantra this is called “riding the wave.” Many women can learn how to
be multi-orgasmic with the Yoni Massage and a very patient partner.
Keep massaging until she tells you to stop. Very slowly, gently, and with respect, remove your hands.
Allow her to just lay there and enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is very
soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage your sex life will be greatly enriched and you
will learn a great deal about feminine sexuality.