About Swinging Happy Hedonist
Contrary to belief, not everyone knows what swinging is. The term “wife-swapping” is not the same, nor the “key-club”, which seemed to be sexist in its early forms, although they may have evolved since the early ’50s. In fact, further back in history, “swinging” was a part of society, known and accepted in different races.
“Swinging” is a recreational event based on social and sexual interactions between consenting adults. It can take many forms depending on the views of the participating adults who are usually couples, committed to their primary partner for life.
Secure in their relationship, they take part in having sexual encounters of varying degrees with others. It isn’t hidden and both partners consent to each other’s sexual desire for variety without harming each other, or damaging the relationship. Always ensuring each other’s safety and well-being.
Swinging couples, characteristically, are great communicators. They reveal themselves to each other truthfully, recognizing openness is the key to happiness within the lifestyle. No room for hidden agendas, although this is not to say, it is easy for every couple to achieve this. It can be hard work wading through all the beliefs of what is supposed to be a consenting, sexual adult.
Every couple will have their own way of developing their skills. There are no right or wrong ways of doing this, as long as one isn’t forcing or harming the other.
The couples usually consist of a male and a female. (Although same sex couples, can also be a part of the swinging lifestyle, as the lifestyle is not sex-racist.) Typically, though, the male is Heterosexual and the female may be anything from heterosexual to bi-sexual. Bisexuality is dependent also upon choice. Chemistry plays a large part in bi-sexual women, if there is an attraction, there may be play. I say maybe, because the situation needs to feel right for all concerned.
The mainstream swingers socialize in a dance club-like atmosphere, where they can meet people with the intent to have a sexual encounter, with either each other or others. The club is a place to mingle, dance, have fun and be sexy, should one desire. Many women can be afraid if they think it is just one big group orgy, which of course it isn’t.
The “club” is a great place to have fun with no expectations of the couple to actually have to “DO” anything. It is feasible to say you could sit in the club all night and just watch if you choose to, which in itself is a form of a sexual encounter.
Most of us would think of sexual encounters as the full-blown sexual act culminating in intercourse and hopefully an orgasm. However, swinging has many layers and many ways. It has a very wide-range of activities, and it doesn’t always result in sexual intercourse or orgasm.
It would purely depend on what the couple’s rules were and what their boundaries mean. These may vary from couple to couple, from just kissing and dancing at the club, to possibly indulging in a little sex, or perhaps the whole act of intercourse with their chosen playmates.
The belief of most people when they first think about swinging is it safe, and will I have to do anything?
The most important thing to remember it is about free will and choice. If it doesn’t feel good, then don’t do it. No one can get mad or upset if you don’t like what you are experiencing and wish to stop. After all, it is about fun and pleasure.
Safety is of the utmost importance in most swingers’ minds along with honesty and integrity.
Safe sex is undoubtedly the most precious gift you can give to yourself and your partner(s). The array of products for safe sex is huge. Many products are geared to sensitivity so you don’t miss feeling, this, coupled with protection can make sex a very enjoyable and safe experience. Men have thought for many years, sex with a condom dulls their experience. It is no longer the case with new technology.
Educate yourself and your partner on products. This can be fun too, purchasing products together and trying them out will help you find what is right for you, and aid you when you decide to become active sexually.
Having safe sex products with you when you attend any swinging event doesn’t mean you will use them. What it does mean you will be prepared, in the event you may decide that evening to venture forth.
Swinging is an equal opportunity experience. Women and men alike have the right to say no, at any given time. Be it in the throws of a sexual encounter, or just on the dance floor. Anyone has the right to say no. The beauty of being in the lifestyle is the maturity of everyone respecting the rights of another. No one has to perform against his or her will. Nor is it expected. You go as far as you wish to go, the rule of thumb here, is travel at the speed of the slowest person.
What may turn your crank this day, may not the next. Keeping this in mind, it would be important to communicate ones’ differences and work them out.
Swinging is not like the porn industry, by creating instantly turned on men and women, looking like Ken and Barbie. Remember, actors are performing, and on set, with directors telling them when to stop and start. The movie isn’t real sex; it is only a visual aid to turn you on. They may be having a good time, however it isn’t the same as actually having a real sexual encounter with a real someone, you are really attracted to, and you have chosen in real setting.
In the lifestyle, people may have many things that turn them on, be it hairy chests to no body hair, big breasts to small perky breasts, long hair, short hair, you name it, it takes all sorts of people from 21 to 69 years old to make the swinging world, and some older! Men do not have to have huge penises, nor do they need to bang away for hours on end in order to satisfy a woman. Women do not need to be runway models, or have huge breasts and a tight butt to appeal to men. It is definitely for all walks of life and all age groups within consenting adults.
We place huge expectations on ourselves to be perfect, when we already are.
Prospective sexual partners may see something we are not aware of, in who we are, that attracts them. No need to pick a body part of the week to berate, the person who finds us attractive probably does not notice any of those things.
Does it mean you are depraved in wanting to experience other sexual partners? No, in fact, it is common knowledge, most swingers are incredibly responsible for their actions, and take their responsibilities towards themselves and human kind seriously and with integrity.
What does that mean to the new couple just starting out? It means it is ok to be honest about your feelings, it is ok to honest about what you are looking for, if anything, and it is ok to be where you are at, in the lifestyle.